Comparing Who to Who and Why?

A friend told me the other day she just didn’t feel confident anymore-not like she use too. She compared herself to a woman she works with. She said she had no idea where her confidence went or when it left. “It’s obvious, she said “it didn’t leave all at once, little by little it was chiseled away every day.” She went on to explain, she wasn’t feeling too good about her self-worth either. She had no idea where that went. She wanted to know when her good image of herself became a poor self-image. As she continued to talk, she kept bringing up this woman she worked with and talking about how confident she was-how intelligent-always looked good, etc.

We both agreed it is easy for these things to happen if we are not paying attention everyday to where we stand with ourselves.

I thought about our conversation, and decided we lose these things because we begin to compare ourselves to others. Doing this belittles us
and if we continue to do this we eventually become nothing. We are meant to be unique not a carbon copy of someone else. Somehow, my friend allowed this image she had of her co-worker to become bigger than life, and as this image became bigger, my friends image became smaller. Before long her self-confidence and self-image had dwindled down to almost nothing.

Don’t know why we compare ourselves to others and I don’t know why we don’t recognize we are originals and I sure don’t know why we think we ought to be like someone else.

self confidenceBe the best we can be should be our motto–what we should strive for everyday. I am not you-you are not me. It took my friend a few months to get back on the right track of appreciating herself as well as her co-worker. She says she still checks at the end of everyday to make sure she has not compared herself to anyone. If she thinks she has, she spends time redirecting her thoughts. She understands we are in control of how we feel about ourselves.

How about you? How do you feel about yourself?

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About Susan Reichert

Editor-in-Chief of Southern Writers Magazine, a magazine for authors and people who love to read.We highlight and promote authors and their books. Married with four daughters. Live in the South. President of a Writers Group.
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