I often find when presented with news I would rather not hear, there is a tendency to want to pretend I am somewhere else in time. That might have worked when I was a child but it doesn’t work well since I am an adult.

Today the news I received was about a friend of 51 years. Her surgery went well but the prognosis was not what we wanted to hear. Six months–when you are little sounds like forever away but  when you are older it goes by way too  fast. I can’t imagine how her family must be feeling, I am sure it will take some time to wrap their heads around this news. As for my friend, even though I haven’t been able to talk to her today there must be all sorts of feelings rushing through her head. Knowing her I know she will handle this with grace and do all she can to comfort her family and friends and to enjoy the days she does have being with her family and friends.

It has occurred to me that death seems closer around us when we get older. When we are young we don’t normally see much death, at least not  often. However somehow with my aging my friends have aged too. Just February we buried my best friend of 36 years husband. And here we are now being told another friend is beginning her process in that  stage that take us to the end of this phase of life. In this stage we are getting ready for the door to open to be received into heaven where we will see our Lord and loved ones who have gone on ahead of us.

When you’re told the amount of time you probably have left versus not knowing how much time you have left and it just happens do you wonder which is better? I do; I wonder which is better for the person, the family and friends.  Is it the same for all involved.

For me, I don’t know which I would prefer. I would certainly want my affairs in order and would want to spend my time with people I love. Yet I sure would not want to suffer or have my family watch as I suffer.

The family I am sure would want to keep their loved one for as long as possible until they get to the point they can let go. In the end for those of us who are left at a loved ones death letting go is hard. I believe it is a process that we have to walk through.

Letting go I guess is what it eventually boils down to for everyone involved.

My thoughts were when I was told she was going into surgery was “We just never know what the next day will bring for us but we can be sure our God will be with us know matter what it brings.” I find comfort tonight knowing that is true. I was told my friend was at peace with everything.  I will work on that in my process.

About Susan Reichert

President of Southern Author Serivces; President of Collierville Christian Writers Group; Retired Editor-in-Chief of Southern Writers Magazine. Southern Author Services promotes and highlights authors and their books. Married with four daughters. Lives in the South.
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  1. redmestic says:

    A year ago, I lost the man who was like a second father to me my entire life. He had been given just 6 months with pancreatic cancer. He lived just shy of two years. His wife and family was by his side the whole time. They look back now and can say they have no regrets. Thank you for writing with such compassion.

    • Thanks redmestic for sharing your loss with me. We are blessed when we can be with the ones we love it helps us go through the loss that comes with death.

  2. Susan, That was written with sensitivity. I also have a friend who is dying. We need to remember we are all dying. Some sooner than others, so we need to be prepared. We must take every opportunity to help others prepare for heaven.

  3. So sorry to hear that Annette. It’s is hard to lose friends. Sometimes it feels we just don’t have enough time in life to spend all we want to with friends and all of a sudden you turn around a chapter has closed. You are in my prayers.

  4. Annette says:

    Timely post for me, today a friend of 29 years was buried, she knew my life & I knew hers… We were buds…she retired 6weeks ago after one week of retirement was diagnosis with cancer and was buried today. She did not anticipate she would die much less that quickly. The fact remains only God knows each of our expiration dates and time, so what does it matter us knowing or not knowing? Prayers for your friend, Docters sometimesake mistakes but God never does .

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